Hitting it Solo..
I drove back to Westwood Village and it got foggy all of a sudden. Parked my car and grabbed the second book I got and went to this sushi bar, it was alright. Then I went to the Starbucks close by, got my coffee fix and popped the book open. The second book I got was The Alchemist. I have heard a lot about this book and so I decided to check it out. In the introduction section, the author Paulo Coelho mentions a quote by Oscar Wild, "Each man kills the thing he loves." Then he goes on by talking about how true this quote is and how it applies to our goals and dreams. Coelho writes, "The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt. We look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far." It got me thinking for a while.
It was around 11:15 p.m. A typical scene in Westwood Village, kids hanging out in the corner, UCLA students crossing the streets and talking. Those who were solo, had their headphones hooked up. Some had this weird walk which tells you a lot about who they are. The sound of music coming from Gypsy cafe can vaguely be heard amongst all the noisy families sitting out side the Starbucks. I started to think about all the sacrifices I have made in order to get where I was. chronological sacrifices, that is. Sometimes you think you are doing all this for a good cause, a brave goal, or just curiosity. And at other times, you start questioning who you are and why you are here at this point in time and place. These are normal questions we stimulate. Sometimes as a result of an emotion, which is mostly fear. The fear of the unknown, I call it. Certain circumstances intervene and collide in your path.
Last week, my friend was telling me about how he wants to get his MBA from the States, and so it got us talking about the sacrifices one makes in order to get what they really want. I talked about my experience and all the sacrifices I have made. It's been more than 4 years since I decided to make this huge decision that will then have an impact on who I am today, the way I will perceive things, my relations with people close or random. I have lost so much in order to get where I am today, even though I'm no where close to where I want to be. I have lost the idea of being the eldest and watching the other siblings grow up. Not to mention the big communication gap between us. I have missed being a part of the transition that my relatives and friends went through, which includes, growing up, entering the real world, getting married, and some have children now. Every time I go back to Riyadh, I can totally feel the loss, in person. The good thing is I still have my parents. They're doing good and that's what counts. I am not really shocked at all this, because I knew from the first day I made that decision, I knew it will never be the same again.
The good thing about being human is that we have this social ability to adapt. Sometimes we are forced to adapt whether we like it or not. Evolution, if you may (I don't want any of you religious fanatics throwing fruits at me because you totally know what I'm talking about). We have to find other meaningful things in life to keep us going, other motivators that will pin us back on the path. But the crucial questions that strikes us all are, "What if I can't find what I'm looking for?" "Why am I here?" "Is all this worth it?" and so on. No matter how confident you are, or how sure of yourself you are, you'll still question yourself, question the rationality of your goals, etc.
Hold that thought...I'm going out with friends :p
Don't let go untill you finish "The Alchemist".it's amazing.
Beautiful post btw.
Posted by
Ancient Poem |
3:00 AM
Great post! I feel the same way you feel, man! I guess maktoob 3alaina net-hajwal from the day our mothers gave birth to us and raised us in foreign lands. Just hang in there bro, What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
Is it that sushi bar with all the good looking japanese/korean waitresses? The one where the bar is to the left when you get in? My visit to Westwood about 2 months ago made me feel depressed and old...you should stop going there :p
Posted by
Anonymous |
5:36 AM
Ancient: I like the book already...Thanks.
Hibba: C'est la vie..
Yousef: Yeah, it's across the street from Maloney's, the bar. As far as hot waitresses, I'm not going to comment on that. You probably had your beer goggles on or something :p
As far as foreign lands..I don't know about you, but nothing seems foreign to me anymore...I just got used to it.
Posted by
Sami |
5:54 AM
I know that I already told you my openion in the messenger, but I will post it here too ;P
I really liked what you wrote, it was deep and truthful.
Keep on the good work buddy ..
BaDeR.
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:35 PM
That was a lovely post :) Coehlo is a beautiful writer; I read most of his books and I have to pause for a while and think about the meaningful chunks intertwined in the plot...and how it can apply to everyone.
I miss out on family functions back home and I feel out of the loop whenever I get back. But I know that this little sacrifice will benefit me and my family more in the end. Take care...
Posted by
Erzulie |
9:17 PM
Don't stop at the Alchemist.. Paolo Coelho is my fav. author. he is a mastermind. His books are simple and easy to read and the things you pick up from them are just priceless! And each time you reread one of his books you pick up something new..
Enjoy it! :)
Pamela
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:33 AM
Bader: Shukria : )
Noor: Hala suga..The aww really nice does not work with me sista :p
Well, it's not I'm complaining or anything...it's one of those thoughts you get, and sometimes you'd want to get high just to see the other side of the story lol
ERZulie: Ahleen hunny bunn, I totally agree with you on the benefits that outweigh the drawbacks. Thanks for stopping by.
Jaded: Hey baby doll..I think we talked about all this last time..and I agree with the adaptation.
Pamela: Paolo Coelho is gifted..that's all I have to say about that. Thanks for stopping by sweet heart.
Wow..I'm in a flirtatious mood tonight lol
Posted by
Sami |
3:35 AM
Sami wish feek mtanni7!.....w'enty ya Jaded ba3ad :-p.....I was telling Sami that we were raised (as kids) in a foreign land.....it's what made us the way we are, citizens of the world....OF COURSE you wouldn't feel foreign anywhere......maktoob 3alaik al-hajwalah* a9lan :p
it took me a day or two to adjust to both Oman and Egypt.....Let's see how hard adjusting to living in Mexico will be.....
keep posting bro....u ROCK DUUUUUDE!
*hajwalah = constant travel
Posted by
Anonymous |
4:43 AM
Yousef: How dare you call me mtani7! :|
I understood what you said and I was just following up. 5al nshoofek yalmtani7 after you move to Mexico and all you have to eat are those big ass burritos. Those screw with your current mental status.
I've never heard hajwalah before bas ma 3alaih..you rock too :p
Posted by
Sami |
10:28 AM
Sami. Me and you are the same age and have made the same life decision. I studied for about two years (actually less than that) in KSU then I came to the States. I have my BS now and I am ok with that but I really feel that I have missed so much. I am the oldest in my family and they all love me and respect me. I was treating them like a mother more than a sister although we are few years apart. So, I can totally relate to what you said.
I will visit my family this christmas break. I am so excited ya Sami and I am really scared too. I have changed so much and yet retained a lot of who I was so I guess I became a freak (oh no !).
I admire your strength and I know you will be just perfect for our country.
Maha
Posted by
Anonymous |
5:32 PM
Maha: Are you sure you're not the female version of me? Because if you were, I'd feel sorry for you :p
I'm going back this Christmas break as well. I've got used to going back with having no expectations what so ever. Helps you question less. If you know what I mean.
Thanks for stopping by, come again..
Posted by
Sami |
8:47 PM
Thanks for stopping by, come again..
LOL sounds like Apu from The Simpsons :P
~Pamela
Posted by
Anonymous |
3:20 AM
interesting entry...
Actually it's quite depressing.. heh. those are the kinda questions one avoids dealing with.. or they might find themselves falling into a not so peachy black abyss...
Posted by
Trevelyana |
3:49 AM
I read most of your post and it reminds me of my lonely Ramadan Days in College where I worked and studied full time and hadn't the luxury to get into the whole Ramadan Spirit!
Here's what I did on the 1st day of Ramadan.
I Stocked up the Kitchen with Dates, Fresh Arabic Coffee and lots of Ziplock bags.
I made tamrya to last a whole month and placed in Tubberwear and fridged it, also marag la7am (Lamb Curry)the 1st day of Ramadan that would feed 20 people. Nichabt just enough for 1 fi6oor and put the the rest in ziplock bags n froze it. Everyday I came back, made me some fresh rice, had some taboola I picked up from the Lebanese restaurant, microwaved 'marag in a bag' as well as 'tamrya in a bag' and watched Arabic T.V. online, for desert, arabic sweets and coffee.
Just another minor detail, I through a few pillows on the floor, sat down and sipped my coffee and Rahash treats, its almost like home.
Posted by
Mama Fusla |
11:26 AM
Pamela: Apu is awesome lol
Leeno: peachy black abyss...hmm....feels a lot like home :p
Mama Fusla: This is going to be my fifth Ramadan alone...I'm used to it, honestly. I just did a little food shopping. I still haven't gotten the dates and coffee yet. I heard there's this nice Arabic place in L.A. that carries them. I better get to it..I need to catch up.
Thanks for all your comments..
Posted by
Sami |
2:03 PM
Mbarak 3alaik elshahar yaltheeeeeb
Posted by
Anonymous |
6:14 AM
Yousef: Allah yebarek feek ya ba3ad 7ayee..
Mephistophelia: I totally agree with you. I can't count the endless times I got sucked into debates, not for the sake of debating, but for the sake of blackmail. But I'm always like..I'm here to educate some of you retards so bring it on. lol But I also know that your brain cells decay if you don't get them running from time to time. I'm talking about the old people who pretty much already set their minds like 30 years ago. and the younger crowd who have done the same because of some ego-connected symptoms. But hey, with these people..you just nod your head and wait for the check so you can start a scene in the restaurant.
Thanks for stopping by, sweetie pie.
Posted by
Sami |
8:16 AM
Hey that was a very interesting post. I have been thinking along those line for the past years.
I have been away from family too now 6years. All my sisters and brothers have grown up and I wonder how life would have been if I hadn't left. The only awesome things is I am with my mom here and two of my brothers.Mom just got back from visiting she was totally amazed.As for me I don't plan on going back until at least 2years from now.It's going to be very interesting I wonder how will that go.But I talk with them on the phone at least once a week so I keep up with there lives.
We all have different journeys to take and our every day decision will determine our lives in the next years to come right? So I concentrate on making the right decisions today to shape my road for my wherever am suppose to end.
As for food am assuming it takes a lot of time to cook your native dish. That's one of the reason I love America there is always carry out around the corner and of course fast food.
Posted by
Unknown |
8:19 AM
Diamon: good thoughts, I agree. As far as preparing traditional dishes, I didn't buy the 30-minute meals cookbook for nothing loool
Come again..
Posted by
Sami |
8:23 AM
ok I hope ur cooking is going better than mine... I JUST had a HUGE disaster... lets just say fatoor is gonna be ..pasta! :( Waaaainikk ya ayam il sambooosa wil akl il zaaain!
Posted by
Trevelyana |
4:41 PM
Noor: What's up, baby! Allahuma ini 9ayem..anyway..yeah..send some recipes, will you. Thanks..
Deedee: we inti b5air 7abeebti.
Leeno: I'm on a roll sweetheart, I tell you, this cookbook is sure something. Made this shrimp rotini something yesterday..my neighbor was impressed. Today, Wed, is the first day of Ramadan here. I just bought some dates and baklava, baqlawa, whatever...So I think I'm cooking chicken lo mien and tomato soup. Chinese food on the first day of Ramadan. Don't judge. I'm warming up for the big stuff lol
Posted by
Sami |
5:57 PM
Sami...
Chinese in Ramdan? heh..
You do know that you can get chinese anything in the savior aisle (frozen dinners) .. tastes better than the restaurant if you make it right..
I say stock up on the frozens (I have a subscription) and use the book to prop your feet on as you enjoy your 10 minute meal!.. you deserve it.. opening that frozen food box was hard labor!
Posted by
Trevelyana |
4:30 AM
Mephistophelia: patron dispatched endearments? I never knew they were labeled that way lol I take it back :p
Leeno: I just find out that fixing Chinese at home is a waste of time, not to mention a waste of money. My friend had gotten me a microwave as a housewarming gift but I still haven't picked it up. She lives an a hour an a half away from here. So, I might pick it up this weekend and stock up on those microwavable dinners
Posted by
Sami |
10:40 AM
Noor: uh..I need to get a blender :p
I had sushi for fu6oor today : )
Looking forward lil foul almudamas we le altatnee7..min zaman...thanks
Posted by
Sami |
9:33 PM
ramadan karim, sami!
Posted by
Marcy Newman |
12:43 AM
Thanks Marcy, I hope you're having fun..
Posted by
Sami |
3:39 AM